Category Archives: All Ages

“America’s Got Jugglers” By Chad Robert Parker

June 27, 2016Talent ShowChad Robert Parker

America’s Got Talent never seems to give enough credit to jugglers. One mistake, usually in the form of a dropped ball, and it’s all over. I like that this year a more artistic juggler (sorry about the outfit if you checked the link) does a rhythmic routine where drops are part of the natural motion and overall plan. He has been wowing the judges, and rightfully so. His talent and skill is amazing! Singers on the other hand can tell a story that supersedes being off-pitch. It’s much easier to make a comeback story.

I have juggled and I have sung in several different talent shows. Nothing big. The juggling has seen varying levels of appreciation. I like to juggle with eggs and then find a volunteer to catch an egg I throw at them to test that it is real. Of course, I have always hard-boiled the eggs just in case that person I choose in the crowd is not a very good catcher. Once I juggled raw eggs. That time I didn’t throw it into the crowd. The lights were especially bright that day and it is the closest I have come to dropping any eggs in my routine. I can juggle pins, and weighted knives or torches would not be much different for me. I can juggle three basketballs or eat an apple in between. And yet, no matter what you do in juggling it seems the audience always wants you to add one more item before it is ever good enough to beat out singing.

Singing is easier. I have practiced focused juggling for multiple hours a day for many days in my life. I sing casually, along with the car radio. I like karaoke. I suppose if I worked harder at it I would be more professional. But therein lies the kicker. When I sing on a stage at a talent show I get a lot more excitement out of the crowd. The last time I sang I had girls screaming the whole time and asking for my number later. I even had one girl who seemed to have written me off, showing interest once again. Sorry ladies, now I’m taken, and when I sing I dedicate the song to my lovely wife. It’s usually a private serenade.

Note (7/23/16): Check out the Juggler, Viktor Kee’s, latest performance. Inspired!

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“The Real Story Behind My Car Accident” By Chad Robert Parker

June 13, 2016Car AccidentChad Robert Parker

In February of this year, I was in a car accident. I told police I was driving my 2004 Honda Pilot up the hill on University Parkway between Provo and Orem. I finished work at 5:00pm and was traveling home like I had done for almost 9 years. I assume I was traveling near the speed limit: 40 miles per hour. Then came a domino effect of cars slowing down in front of me, which abruptly rippled to a halt. I stopped with a car length between me and the next car. In my rear view mirror I saw the next car coming at full speed. It was as large as anything I had ever seen in that mirror. I was going to be hit. I braced for impact. That horrific clashing and crunching of metal and glass rung out. My left calf kicked the steering column. Surprisingly my airbag did not deploy, but I was scooting toward the car in front of me now. I braked harder. The car behind me slid off my back left panel. The car in front of me drove forward. I let my car roll ahead to a stop, breathed a sigh of relief, leaned back, and tried to process it.

I was a sitting duck. There was nothing I could do. I realized I might need to help free others from the wreck and unbuckled my seat belt. I pushed on my front door, but it didn’t budge. I slammed my body against it and it opened. By then a couple other drivers helped two high school girls out of a white Nissan Rogue. She apologized profusely, claiming something about straight A grades and never being in trouble before in her life. I tried to reassure her that this is what insurance is for (though I am still hoping for a $500 deductible refund). She was just dropping off someone’s car as a good deed for her dad. The owner did not have insurance. I took some pity on the girl and never did report how she and her friend were dancing wildly to the car radio.

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“Just Passing Through” By Chad Robert Parker

June 6, 2016Hospital VisitChad Robert Parker

When you are in a third world country one of the last places you want to have to visit is the hospital. I served a two year proselyting mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Philippines in 1997-1999. We went out two by two, as a good safety measure for one, and we were among the native peoples everyday, but we had to take some other extra precautions to keep from getting sick, for example.

The locals referred to it as a weak American stomach, but we boiled water every night to be sure we killed off bacteria. Then we placed it in our fridge to be nice and cold in the morning. One day my companion was doing us a service by chipping off a thick wall of ice in our freezer with a knife, only he punctured the wall and the Freon came spilling out. We constantly joked with the locals that there were only two seasons in the Philippines, hot and hotter, but this was an El Ninyo season so it was a particularly bad heat wave that brought on drought conditions.

When we learned it would be a week or more until our freezer and refrigerator were fixed we opted to buy cold 1 liter sodas everyday from the vendor that lived below us. They didn’t have much bottled water available at the time, but I elected for that when they had it. One morning my companion could not move from his bed. He was holding his stomach and groaning. He barely wanted to talk. I took him to the emergency room. He had thought he would never beg to visit the hospital, but this was an exception.

They discovered that he had a kidney infection from our soda drinking. Lucky for him they gave him medicine and sent us packing. He got off easy as it was only an infection not yet a kidney stone, and we didn’t even have to stay the night. He thought I got off too easy, so I always teased him that I didn’t bust the fridge.

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“My Whale of a Time,” By Chad Robert Parker

May 23, 2016Sea SickChad Robert Parker

I think it was second grade. We went on a whale watching trip. It’s funny what stands out in my memory. A couple boys from another school were proudly singing Bruce Springsteen’s 1984 hit, “Born in the U.S.A.”

It was a rather amusing scene. They had bandannas tied on their heads and were rocking out with their air guitars. As they hopped around pushing each other they often bumped into passersby. I remember thinking they were kind of violent with how they purposely jumped towards girls standing in our orderly line of students. These kids were my age, but they were acting like punk rocker wannabes. It was kind of funny and kind of threatening at the same time, even though I was born in the U.S.A., too. Their teacher soon got them to stop after several attempts to make them behave and I’m sure including some threats.

Then we were out on the ocean, salty misty sea breeze through our hairs, skiffing across the waves. I didn’t think such a big boat would bounce on the waves as much. I didn’t feel the ocean sickness until about halfway to the deep blue. I sat down and breathed in deeply. I ate some of the goldfish crackers my mom had wisely packed for me. Then the dolphins came alongside the boat, racing us, falling behind and crossing each others dives in our wake. In truth, I was really skeptical that we would see any whales. The boat knew where to go if there were whales to be seen. It was colder in the deep water. The wind and our wet shirts stuck to our bodies. Sure enough, a whale surfaced and spouted water out of its blowhole. Our boat stopped. The sun split through the overcast sky. It was like straight out of the movies. I couldn’t believe the majestic sea animal we were witnessing. Another appeared. And another. It was a great day for whale watching. I wondered what else was in the great sea and went home thinking it was good to be born anywhere on this beautiful Earth.

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“Northern Minnesota Waterways” By Chad Robert Parker

May 16, 2016Camping Out, Lake TripChad Robert Parker

Minnesota is beautiful! There are trees, hills, and lakes. Lots of lakes. More lakes than you can imagine. I have a portrait on my wall with the glowing embers of a fire at the side of a canoe-in campground. It’s almost magical! The memories of lake camping are equally magical to me.

My family loved picking a lake to visit for a weekend trip, camping nearby, boating, swimming, and fishing. Some lakes were better than others. Leech lake was aptly named. Yuck! Around Duluth was always cold. Always! You may think, of course it is, Minnesota is a winter wonderland. Visit once during the summer. You will be surprised. The rather private settings are full of hidden gems. The fear of cold keeps most away. Even up North there are four distinct seasons, however, and it gets plenty warm. Believe it or not, some days are hot and humid. On those days, farther North is ideal. You can relax to a warm evening amidst the sweet smell of pine forests.

On one camping trip a photographer was taking pictures for a book about Northern Minnesota’s roadways. He was capturing shots to show off the beauty of some less traveled areas. He asked if he could include a picture of my older brother, who was just playing around in the lake, looking like Huck Finn, while standing on a raft we had taken all morning to lash together from fallen logs. We obliged like roadies getting some limelight. Then we played the rest of the day on our raft. I miss those days on Minnesota waterways.

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“Natural Water Park” By Chad Robert Parker

May 2, 2016Favorite VacationChad Robert Parker

My favorite vacation is easily Lake Powell, Utah. For a desert lake it is quite beautiful with plenty of outdoor enthusiast appeal. Though I came back with scorched skin and a horrible ear infection, accompanied by a splitting head ache to endure the entire 24 hour drive home, it was worth it.

My extended family rented a houseboat and our reunion with Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins was spent water skiing, cliff jumping, fishing and camping on the beach. The red rock cliffs are breathtaking and awe-inspiring. We were sure to check any cliff’s for outcroppings before jumping off of the 10-20 footers. We spent lots of time basking in clear waters and playing games with water toys. We loved exploring the many coves and paths. Yes, the lake is that big! It is a source of stories for a few firsts that I am sure will get recorded in other anecdotes here: a great adventure to be sure.

I think the water is down more and more but one of these years the family needs to get back together and relive that vacation. Spectacular!

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“Provo Get Away” By Chad Robert Parker

April 25, 2016StaycationChad Robert Parker

They say Provo is boring. Straight-laced students can’t possibly have any fun. Have these critics ever heard of the great outdoors?

When I was a Scout Leader I rediscovered some great adventures in my own proverbial backyard. We had been planning a trip to Jackson Hole or maybe The Narrows. Canoeing the Green River was awesome but who wants to do the same thing again and again from year to year.

The biggest challenge is scheduling 15 and 16 year old boys for an outing together. Hanging out with other guys is not always high on the priority list. Cars, girls, and making money for cars and girls probably ranks higher. No, that’s oversimplifying it. A good outdoor adventure is enticing but they wanted it to be close and convenient. Provo delivered.

We camped up the canyon at Hope Campground. It was just enough out of the way to be roughing it for a night. We flew through the trees on zip-lines, rode horseback around a trail with a myriad of scenery and varying landscape near Sundance Resort, tubed down Provo River, albeit in the ice cold run-off, and found plenty of picnic areas for lunch before the day was through. It cost less and didn’t leave out any of the frills for the outdoor adventurist in all of us that was just waiting to be coaxed out.

I’m already planning on a future family vacation as an outdoor staycation in the Provo area.

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“The Closest My Biking Came To Cycling” By Chad Robert Parker

April 18, 2016Biking / CyclingChad Robert Parker

We were working on our Cycling Merit Badge. Every week we knew what our Scout activity would be. To get ready for a 50 mile trip we would need several 10-12 mile trips to build up to it. Our leader was my cousin. He liked biking and it was a good way for him to keep somewhat fit. He planned out a safe route through country roads. Another leader, usually my dad, would follow us, with hazard lights flashing, in his car.

It was cool that we could bike right from the church parking lot where we had our Scout meetings. We started early on the first trip. We had to gut it out to get back at a reasonable hour. I think it took us about an hour and twenty minutes. We shaved it down to an hour and then to 45 minutes. That was quite the feat for all of us to do. Not everyone was in very athletic shape. We started increasing the mileage to 15 miles and even 20 on a Saturday or two.

The 50 miler was going to be daunting. We packed water and lunches. We set out. I remember sweating a ton, feeling exhausted at midpoint and not wanting to check on others as much as before, along with bigger hills for longer stretches. The downhill of course was great. The uphill was not as good. One kid had never quite figured out what gears to switch into and how to do it in stride. He must have been extremely tired. I remember stopping a little farther than the halfway point, a nice surprise, and in good timing. We actually felt so revitalized after lunch. Our bodies were not only ready to go again but the remaining miles felt more like the cool down phase rather than too much exertion. It’s the farthest I ever intend to go on a bike, however.

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“Almost a Romantic Adventure” By Chad Robert Parker

April 11, 2016PicnicChad Robert Parker

One of my favorite Spring/Summer activities is to ride the ski lift and picnic atop a mountain meadow trail. I would list it as my favorite date activity. It certainly sets the stage for a romantic adventure. I have done it at least as many times as I have been skiing or snowboarding, though that is only to say a handful.

On one trip, my date and I had no sooner gotten off the ski lift ride when an old lady approached us hysterically. She screamed out for help as though someone was on the verge of death. We ran to her. People should remember how nature is not to be taken for granted. Without snow and skis the man from England could not get back to the lift when he was done exploring.

He was stranded on top of the next peak. We wondered how he had gotten there, though it proved not as easy to come back down the slippery dirt and rocks as it was to go up. My date insisted on coming with me although she was only wearing flip flops, not tennis shoes. I was stuck between worrying about how dire the emergency need ahead was or waiting to help my date’s wants, while leading her into a possible unknown predicament to come. I didn’t bother to tell her she couldn’t assist me, so we went at her pace. She resisted any extensions of my hand to assist her up steep points.

As it turned out the wife had exaggerated the situation with her urges for us to hurry to her husband’s aid. We scaled the peak to find the man sitting calmly, resting, in no immediate need. I gave him a bottle of water as a precaution. He was happy to let me offer him a hand down the slope.

My date and I proceeded to our picnic. We had a great time, but it was apparent we didn’t get past the physical touch barrier like I had with the old man. She made sure our outing was solely for the fun of it.

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“Have I Lost the Ability to Talk in My Sleep?” By Chad Robert Parker

April 4, 2016Sleep TalkingChad Robert Parker

The other night I woke up from a half sleep with a start. I tried to scream out but all I could muster was a loud letter M. It was like..mmmmmmMMMMMehhhh…or something like that. My wife started laughing and I opened my eyes looking a little disturbed. She asked if I was okay. I smiled.

She was so amused that I think she was kind of hoping to get further response from my asleep state. I was awake, however, but oddly I could not remember what my dream was about. When she asked I opened my mouth to say, but as quickly as I did I could not remember. All I know is I was vaguely conscious of being in and out of sleep and I was thinking someone was going to grab me but that I had limited function to move, and/or to apparently shout out.

My wife was telling me that there was another time I had a conversation with her while she was quite sure I was actually sleeping, but she can’t recall what I was saying.

How about you? Do you talk in your sleep? Share your story. 🙂

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