Category Archives: Worst Jobs

“The Sponge Bath Best Option” by Ray (Spanish Fork, UT)

While working for an industrial roofing contractor on the west coast, spraying asphalt emulsion (water based tar) with a fiber glass binder onto industrial roofs, the material had to be sprayed to the very edge of the building. A half piece of quarter inch plywood was pulled along the outside edge while the Sprayman would run along behind the board and put down a layer of material. This sealed the edge of the roof. The purpose of the board was to shield anything over the edge from being over sprayed like equipment, materials, cars, etc. Occasionally a breeze would come up and the person holding the plywood was completely at the mercy of the wind and got covered by the overspray blowing back onto them.

It made them appear to be a tar baby. It coated everything it touched; ears, hair, eyes, clothes, everything. The overspray would set up in seconds and then have to be scrubbed off. The problem was it couldn’t be removed with soap and water, but only with hand cleaner which was extremely slow and not very efficient, or a sponge bath in a five gallon can with about a gallon of gas in it. Since we worked from dawn to dark and dinner was suspended until after cleanup, spending a lot of time to cleanup was not desirable for a hungry crew, so the sponge bath became the best option.

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“High Level Marketing” by Chad Robert Parker

Editor’s Example:

Dangling from 70 feet in the air and keenly aware of terminal velocity, I questioned once again if this was the right job for me.

After a 9 month search for the perfect position, I took a job at the ground level to work my way up. So there I was posting advertisements high above Salt Lake City’s skyline. I was lucky enough to get a job in Marketing, but you see hanging from billboards was not exactly the exposure I had in mind.

Winter is the worse season, but hot summers aren’t much better. I learned about momma bird season (they protect their nest and make quite a mess to work through) and wasp season (I was averaging two bites a day and often running perilously across the board swatting at the air).

I was told it was only a matter of time before injury. I was told one had fallen from a height of 35, or so, feet, broke both ankles and never walked the same again. I myself had nearly electrically charged a board and all its occupants. I prayed that I would not fall victim.

On this occasion I was working on one of the 40% of bad boards that were falling apart. Despite signing a contract that I would tie off 100% of the time—so my boss could appease OSHA—I found myself facing an exception that had to be made. An angle iron fell loose and I hung on for the ride. In order to swing to the side platform I was going to need to unhook my lifeline tethering me to the broken board and keeping me just out of reach of tying off to safety ahead. Well, I lived to tell the tale and worked another year in that job.

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